


i'll be (back in your bed)

by No_Bark



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Bottom Oh Sehun, Drama, M/M, Political, Romance, Smut, Top Kim Junmyeon | Suho, Transgender
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-02
Updated: 2019-12-02
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:21:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21652177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/No_Bark/pseuds/No_Bark
Summary: Sehun's an SJW who took a bite of that forbidden fruit.
Relationships: Kim Junmyeon | Suho/Oh Sehun
Comments: 3
Kudos: 35





	i'll be (back in your bed)

**Author's Note:**

> Sehun and Junmyeon are both FTM (female to male transgender). Based in the US cause I couldn't bring it in me to do that much research about South Korea's trans rights and political activism.

Their fingers are laced together on the edge of the soft mattress covered with new just washed grey sheets. One pillow is under the other man's back, lifting up the lower half of his body for better access. His legs are on his sides, spread wide as the man on top pushes into him with ease, thrusts becoming unstable. The air is filled with their moans and the squeaking of the springs.

Junmyeon pushes their lips together, swallowing Sehun's moan as he cries when reaching his orgasm, his whole body trembling and a few whimpers leaving his lips before releasing. Junmyeon pushes in a couple more times to reach his own limit, the rod licking his clit so deliciously, making him jolt a couple of times. He keeps kissing Sehun intimately until they both have to take a breath, Sehun almost passing out from the feeling of air leaving his lungs. Junmyeon doesn't seem to like breathing in air that isn't flavored with Sehun's scent as his nose travels across Sehun's shoulder and neck. He pulls out gently, takes the condom off the prosthetic penis and throws the protective layer into the trash bin. He also takes off his harness and while he's at it, he takes off his binder and changes it into his pyjama shirt and loose boxer briefs.

Sehun turns on his side and grabs the pillow, curling up to himself naked. Junmyeon lays down behind him, scooping him in his arms and pressing his lips against his upper back. Sehun's pastel mint hair almost reach Junmyeon's eyes but it doesn't matter to him. Despite being soaked in sweat, Sehun always smelled good.

"You're so hot when you cum from your ass," Junmyeon sighs and hugs him tighter, making the younger one let out a soft and lazy laugh.

"You're just too good at making me cum," he says. Junmyeon smiles against his back before pulling the light blue blanket over them. In a matter of just few minutes, both of them are fast asleep.

As rosy as last night went, the regret comes fast in the morning. Sehun showers quickly and then goes to the kitchen wearing only his black boxer briefs. He smiles gently at the sight of Junmyeon brewing coffee. His brown hair is still wet from the shower he took before the younger one. Sehun's heart aches as soon as their eyes meet.

He sits down at the table. The kitchen is messy and Junmyeon's cat doesn't help things. The bastard keeps jumping on the table, demanding attention and crying to his owner about the visitor. Sehun visits every month but Junmyeon's child still doesn't approve of him. His name is Mint despite the cat being black with a few white spots.

"Do you want coffee?" Junmyeon asks. Sehun shakes his head. "Right. It makes you jittery. Sorry, I forgot. It's too early."

"It's okay. It would be rude not to ask, wouldn't it?" Sehun says. Every time he's there the night, Junmyeon asks the same question. The conversation they have after it is always different.

"I guess it would." Junmyeon makes the coffee and then sits at the table, holding his head. "Thanks for keeping me company."

"Of course. I wanted to see you."

"Really? I thought you said you didn't want to see me," Junmyeon recalls. "After the last time."

"It doesn't matter what I say I want. You always know better..." 

"It seems you don't know what you want..." Junmyeon says as he rubs his face. Then he looks outside the window. They're on the fourth floor of an apartment building. "What are w-"

"Shh," Sehun cuts him off. "Not now." The sun isn't shining today. The sky is dark... Maybe it'll even thunder tonight. Sehun wants to enjoy the last days of his summer holiday until he has to attend lectures again... and he loves thunder.

"When?" Junmyeon asks.

"One day..."

"Last time you said next time. The last last time you said there would be no next time. And the last time before those two you said we shouldn't see each other again, but you're always on my doorstep." Sehun sighs deeply.

"You know it's complicated."

"I like you. It's obvious you like me. So why can't we be together?"

"Because you're... narrow-minded and bigoted-" Sehun starts but stops himself when he sees Junmyeon staring at him with furrowed eyebrows. His lips are in a thin line and the soft wrinkles on his face become more prominent the more he frowns. His lips are usually so plump, and after last night they look pinker. His brown hair falls on his big black eyeglasses. "...And I can't be with someone like that."

"You're full of it," Junmyeon huffs. "You want me and then you say you hate me because I believe in something that you don't? Whatever. I shouldn't have called you in the first place."

"But you were drunk."

"I was sober by the time you got here."

"But you called me when you were drunk," Sehun insists and gets up from the chair, almost knocking it over.

"And you came here sober," Junmyeon now flails his hands in the air. "If you didn't want to see me, drunk or not, you should've just said no! Or maybe hang up!"

"As if you wouldn't have tried to call me a dozen times after it!"

"Well you didn't even wait for the first one to end before you said yes!" Junmyeon yells, now leaning his head on his arms. "Whatever. Just get out. Like you always do."

Sehun rolls his eyes and walks to the bedroom quickly. His body is shaking from anger and his fists clench. Picking up his clothing and getting in them as quick as he can when he remembers that he was supposed to meet his friends. Right now.

The bedroom is like a crime scene. The air is filled with Junmyeon's scent... It's stronger there than in the other room. The evidence of their crime is scattered across the room. A bottle of whiskey on the floor, the condom in the trash bin, the prosthetic with the harness on the nightstand, the messed up sheets and books that Sehun accidentally kicked on the ground from the other nightstand when Junmyeon put him in his place. And Junmyeon's clothes all over the room... his black and worn out binder is hanging on the closet door. Sehun's just glad he doesn't have to wear one anymore.

He leaves the room with his heart aching now more than it longed for Junmyeon's touch last night. And now the ghostly feeling of his lips all over his body haunt him as he makes his way out of the building, with nothing on him but his clothes and phone with a wallet case, holding nothing but his credit card that his father got him four years ago when he legally changed his name.

He walks to the cafe his friends are waiting at. He needs some fresh air, although getting any so near the city center is practically impossible. People pass him and all he can think of is how Junmyeon made him feel last night. How it feels so good and bad at the same time. At night it feels like they're supposed to be, but during the day they could not be more far apart. And Sehun is set on believing that it is Junmyeon's fault.

When he sees his three friends sitting at one booth in the near empty cafe, he waves at them. Baekhyun smirks at his bed hair.

"Someone's got it in the ass last night," he says with a grin and his boyfriend, Chanyeol, pokes his side. Kai gently pats the space next to him and Sehun sits down.

"Haha. I mean I did. It... happened." Chanyeol raises their eyebrows. Their drawn eyebrows. They have blue hair that is now hidden under a black cap, their face full of piercings, eyes rounded with black makeup and gorgeous eyelashes. Sehun just wishes that he could do makeup as good as Chanyeol, but then again he doesn't really like wearing makeup. And their boyfriend Baekhyun is the sweetest guy to ever exist - he literally looks like a puppy, always wearing some warm brown colors. He always wears glasses with golden frame and a happy smile takes over his face.

"With who?" Chanyeol asks with their deep voice that they've desperately been trying to make sound higher. 

"A... guy..." Sehun replies hesitantly. "I should order something. I haven't eaten anything."

"Except dick," Baekhyun grins but Sehun shakes his head.

"His detachable dick did not visit my mouth." Those are the words he leaves the table with, walking to the cashier whose hair is pink and her makeup black, face full of piercings and arms covered in tattoos. She smiles at her favorite customer.

"The usual?" she asks and he nods, already whipping out his credit card. She makes him hot chocolate and gives him a sandwich, they exchange smiles and thank yous and he goes to the booth his friends are at. Baekyun is still grinning at him.

"It feels like you have a new guy every time," he says. "But what if he is one and the same?"

Sehun's eyes widen and he pretends to smile. Kai immediately props up, his green hair falling on his eyes so he has to whip it away. "Oh! I know! He's secretly dating someone behind our backs!"

"Ooohh," Chanyeol coos and fans their face with their hand. "Why don't you tell us something about him, Sehun? You look like you've seen a ghost."

"The only thing about to ghost you is me," Sehun says with his eyes still wide as plates. "I do not consent to this conversation."

"Oh, come on! You have a guy!" Baekhyun whines but Chanyeol is immediately looking at him with wide eyes and Baekhyun takes some distance.

"He said he doesn't consent. We have to respect his boundaries."

"But... I want to know. That's what friends do, right? Ask about each other's love lives?"

"This is what gets people raped," Kai says with his high voice and Chanyeol rolls his eyes.

"What gets people raped is toxic masculinity and the way cis men see everyone as lesser than them."

"But... women can rape too," Kai says and Chanyeol's jaw just drops.

"Women...? Women can't rape, you sexist."

"I'm not sexist! I can't be, I'm both male and female," Kai whines back at him. "More male, but you know."

"Hey. People. Calm down," Baekhyun says with a calm voice. "Let's just take a deep breath. I'm sorry if I crossed some kind of line, Sehun. I didn't mean to do so."

"It's okay. It really wasn't that big of a deal," Sehun says but Chanyeol, again, seems to disagree. They just cross their arms and look out the window. "I would talk about him but... I'm just afraid that you'll judge him."

"We won't judge! Right, honey?" Baekhyun asks and nudges his boyfriend's arm. Chanyeol sighs again.

"As long as he isn't some kind of prick," they say. "Like truscum... or transmed, but they're basically the same thing."

Sehun looks away. Junmyeon has said that one needs gender dysphoria in order to be transgender and that non-binary people aren't a part of the trans community... which would definitely make him a truscum. Even though Junmyeon doesn't really self-identify with that word (anymore), Sehun knows what he is... and what his friends must absolutely not know.

"He isn't," he lies. "I would never be with a truscum..."

"What's a truscum?" Baekhyun asks as he blinks a few times in confusion. Chanyeol starts a lecture about how truscum are toxic and problematic transgender people who don't believe in people's freedom to express themselves.

Sehun keeps staring at the ground, thinking about how Junmyeon is everything but toxic or problematic. Hell, he's the nicest man Sehun has ever met. Yet here he is, blaming him about hating his own community by latching a label onto him...

***

The second year of university has arrived. Sehun is definitely not ready to hit the books. As English literature major, he has to read  _ a lot _ . It's a good thing he reads a lot in general, so he's learned to be quick at it. But as the new semester begins and the stress arrives, he gets some other bad news as well.

His mother has been talking to her parents.

The two are sitting at the table in the kitchen, Sehun holding his face in his hands and staring at the ground intently, unsure of how his mother could do something like this to him. She's trying to defend herself, but her words are echoing to deaf ears.

"I don't understand. How could you? They hate me!" Sehun says as he sits up, now rubbing his thighs with sweaty hands. The mother stands up and walks to him.

"They are my parents! I love them but it doesn't mean that I love you any less, okay?" she tries to reason.

"But I'm your child! You should defend me!"

"Against my own parents? I don't agree with the way they think about you and how they refuse to refer to you by your real gender, but it doesn't mean that I should just stop talking to them! You don't have to see them, okay, but they are my parents!" 

"And my grandparents! I don't understand how you could do this to me!" Sehun now sits up and starts walking in circles. He's just about the same height as his mother, standing at 5'8. 

"Not everything is about you! I love you but sometimes you're just insufferably. We've done literally everything for you. You know, it's not that easy for us either, you used to be my little girl." She regrets those words as soon as she says them, tears rushing down her cheeks when Sehun runs out the door.

He could go to his friends, but he's not ready to listen to Chanyeol ranting about capitalism and every little thing that's wrong in their society or sit in silence with Kai because the two of them never do anything when they're alone and Kai is lousy at comforting. It's not that he's bad company, it's just that Sehun would rather see someone with more people skills. Baekhyun is a no go, he's known him for only two months and he nevers sees him without Chanyeol. Chanyeol used to be worse, but Baekhyun has made them a little less stressful to deal with.

So he runs to the only place he knows will leave him utterly broken once he leaves it, but the little while he's in there he feels the most intact. He needs to clear his head, so he walks all the way from his little suburb further from the city center to the almost-city-center neighborhood in which Junmyeon lives in. He just rings the doorbell and waits for a while, hoping Junmyeon is awake. It's already evening and the sky is getting darker but the streetlights make the streets feel safe.

Junmyeon walks all the way down to the front door of the apartment building, bewildered to see Sehun there. As soon as he opens the door, the younger one jumps in his arms, hugging him so tight. Junmyeon is shorter than him so the older one's hands wrap around his waist perfectly.

"Why are you here?" he asks with a tired voice.

"I... fought with my mom."

"I thought you had other friends."

"I do, but... they don't know how to talk."

"Okay."

They make their way to the fourth floor and inside Junmyeon's apartment. His cat is sleeping on the red couch that is just filled with clothes that Junmyeon hasn't had the time for. The older man runs his fingers through his hair before sitting at the table. Sehun sits across him. For a moment they're silent and just stare at the ground.

"Why did you two fight?" Junmyeon breaks the silence.

"She... was apparently going to visit my grandparents... who do not accept me whatsoever... I'm just a weird queer in their eyes. A confused... girl."

"You know," Junmyeon starts when putting his leg on top of the other, "I was disowned by my family."

"...Sorry. I didn't know that," Sehun says and immediately feels guilty.

"You can't be mad at all the people not accepting you. There's gonna be many, but there are more of those who will look past it and just see you. Frankly, trans isn't all that you are."

"Yeah. I know." They stay silent for a while again before Junmyeon stands up and walks over to his fridge, pulling out a bottle of red wine. "Do you want some?"

"Always," Sehun admits when seeing the red liquid. Junmyeon takes out two wine glasses and pours them some of the alcohol. Sehun almost drinks the whole glass in one gulp, making Junmyeon's jaw drop.

"Hey, I paid a lot of money for this," he says.

"Hey, I have a moderately wealthy daddy who could buy you ten of these."

"Well your daddy hasn't paid any of those."

"I haven't used my monthly allowance yet," Sehun thinks when demanding for another full glass. Junmyeon obliges. "So if you want some more wine..."

"I should probably drink less, before I have a problem."

"I already have a problem."

"Drinking problem or something else?" Junmyeon asks when eyeing Sehun from head to toe. Sehun leans his back against the wall and crosses his legs, mimicking Junmyeon's position.

"Something else. I fucking hate Chanyeol," he says wholeheartedly. "I mean I guess they're my friend. But they're just so annoying sometimes... And this new guy they're with, I don't understand why they're together! Baekhyun is so sweet and gentle and kind and literally doesn't give two shits about politics when Chanyeol tells him everything that's politically correct and... You know, when we met they told me straight up that they're non-binary genderqueer homoromantic sapiosexual and use they/them pronouns and when I accidentally said he once, they flipped!"

Sehun's face is red from letting all that out. He breathes heavily and takes a long sip of his drink. Junmyeon keeps eyeing him.

"Why are you friends with them?"

"Because... well, they're nice too. Sometimes. You know, they're the only person, besides you, that I feel like I can have real conversations with. Like, deep conversations..." Sehun explains, sighing deeply.

"You identified your sexual orientation in some weird way too, didn't you?"

"It's not weird. Panromantic demisexual is perfectly reasonable. I mean it just means that I could love anyone regardless of gender but wouldn't have sex with anyone without deep emotional connection."

"So you're bi with a preference," Junmyeon thinks out loud when taking a sip of his drink. Sehun rolls his eyes.

"I think it's just easier to say demisexual... so people don't... get the wrong idea..."

"I have a question," Junmyeon says when sipping his drink, finishing it. "Have you had  _ a deep emotional connection  _ with someone other than me?"

"Well... I did. But it didn't work out. She just... wasn't..."

"Me," Junmyeon says and Sehun hates it that he's true.

They stay silent for a while again. The noises of the city infiltrate the apartment through the slightly cracked open window, through the blue curtains that's foot is redesigned by the cat, Mint.

"Have you had someone... besides me?" Sehun asks, unsure whether or not he wants to know the answer.

"Not romantically. But you're not the only man who's visited my bed."

"So I'm the only man you've been with romantically?"

"In the past five years, yes."

"I'm honored."

"By the way," Junmyeon says and looks at Sehun deep in the eyes. "Your hair is always different color when we see each other."

Sehun smiles sweetly. His hair is now pastel pink. "Maybe we should see more often."

"I would love that, really," Junmyeon says, his face serious again.

"I'm just afraid that I would get bored of you."

"Aren't you afraid that you'll get bored of feeling like shit every time you leave my bed? I know I'm sick of it."

"Well," Sehun scratches his head. "I'll always be back in your bed."

He stands up, leaves the glass on the small table and starts walking towards Junmyeon's bedroom, smiling at him seductively and swaying his hips from side to side. Junmyeon eyes him from head to toe, but follows, as always, into his bedroom. Once they stand before each other, he starts lifting Sehun's white tank top, pulling it over his head and then grabbing his hair, pulling him in for a heated kiss. Sehun wraps his arms around Junmyeon's neck, pulling him as close as he can to kiss him back intently.

Before they even realize it they're on the bed, both naked, lying close to each other, still kissing, hands exploring. This is the first time Junmyeon has taken off his binder when they're together intimately - he always complains about how awkward it is, but he hates seeing them even if they're relatively small. It just looks like he has good pectoral muscles.

Junmyeon lowers his hand between Sehun's legs to put his clit between his fingers, pushing and pulling gently while leaving a hickey on his neck. They let out steady breaths, soak in each other's scent. Sehun lowers his hand to touch Junmyeon as well, the two now making out slowly while touching each other.

Junmyeon pushes Sehun on his back and spreads his legs. He places kisses all over his body, leaving hickeys every here and there while making his way down until his head is between his legs. He starts to lick his clit gently before taking it between his lips and sucking on it, making Sehun grab his hair and moan. His lips are so soft and he's so good at sucking it, like he was meant to do so, like he'd done it a million times before. Or maybe he just knew how to handle Sehun of all people.

It doesn't take long for him to cum, still grabbing Junmyeon's hair and moaning softly. He lays rigid on the bed for a while, with a hazy look on his face as Junmyeon kisses up his body and stays at his neck, sucking a hickey on it. Sehun pushes his hand down between Junmyeon's legs and starts pulling his clit between his fingers, back and forth, until the man on top finishes while breathing heavily on his neck.

They lay side by side for a moment in silence, just staring at the ceiling and catching their breaths. Sehun turns his head to stare at Junmyeon, rolling on his side, leaning on his arm and caressing his hair. The older man looks up at him and snuggles closer, pushing his head against Sehun's chest. Sehun takes a deep breath and hugs the man in his arms tight, pressing his lips against his forehead.

Like sand through his fingers, he slips away, leaving nothing but a note in his place instead. A small pink post-it note saying that he had to go to work while the sun shines into the bed. Sehun still hugs his blanket, breathes in his scent and hates himself again. 

***

The lecture was historically boring. It left Sehun feeling numb inside. He holds his backpack on his left shoulder and checks himself from the window, checking if his now pastel blue hair is looking good. And of course, he hates seeing his wide hips in the reflection, but overall he doesn't look any different from any other guy... aside from his hair. Kai sat next to him but for some reason he was very invested in the lecture and didn't pay any attention to his friend who was trying to pick up a conversation.

Kai walks right beside his friend, going on about the lecture that interests Sehun not at all. Suddenly he changes the subject to rant about a truscum he met who told Kai that non-binary people aren't the same as transgender and that they're just taking up trans people's space. Sehun wasn't very interested in that conversation either. Being the only binary trans person in his extended group of friends is sometimes hard because as much as he tries to be polite and respect everyone's opinions, he can't but admit that some of the problems his friends have are somewhat made up. Sehun, who was once riddled with gender dysphoria, feels like his friends don't take his condition seriously.

When they're in the cafeteria, just the two of them, Sehun sends Junmyeon a text to see what he thinks about non-binary people. Junmyeon replies immediately.

_ Jun: Uhh... first of all, I'm not a truscum, so get that out of your ass _

Okay, Sehun may have asked what  _ truscum _ think of non-binary people, but whatever.

_ Jun: If they have dysphoria and they're civil about it, I'll use they/them pronouns and respect their identity, but if they're total dicks who definitely don't have dysphoria then I'm going to be a dick back. Some people just do it for clout _

Sehun doesn't know what to believe. He has completely stopped listening to his friend rant and just stares at his phone screen, scratching his face. It's a little itchy since he shaved this morning. He had a disgusting shadow that just got to go.

_ Jun: Why would you even ask something like that? _

_ Sehun: Just curious. _

_ Jun: Sehun... you and I should really talk _

_ Sehun: Why _

_ Jun: Come over this weekend and I'll tell you why _

_ Sehun: I can't, it's chanyeols birthday _

_ Jun: Fine. Then how about next weeks weekend? _

_ Sehun: Okay. _

His heart starts pounding again, like it always does whenever he's thinking about seeing Junmyeon. The last time they saw was already three weeks ago and he misses being in his arms... He was at Junmyeon's place the whole weekend and they didn't fight, instead they just laid in bed, talked, laughed and drank some wine and tea, sometimes feeding each other chocolate.

If Sehun could, he would spend every weekend like that. But what would his friends think of him being together with someone like Junmyeon? Their views were drastically different, their worlds complete opposites. The moments they laid together in bed were like the collision of two universes. Somehow they found peace.

Kai waves his hand in front of Sehun's face, trying to catch his attention. But Sehun is leaning on his arm, trying to eat his salad that just doesn't taste the same anymore when longing squeezes his chest.

At least it's not a binder.

***

"What are we?" Junmyeon's question echoes in his bedroom after leaving his quivering mouth. The curtains are closed, this time they're completely sober, staring at the ceiling and leaning against the headboard. Sehun tries to look anywhere but at Junmyeon, scanning the room with his eyes. Oh so familiar. "If you would like, then I would like to make... this... official."

"I... I don't... want to be seen... as a hateful bigot by my friends..." Sehun reasons while rubbing his forehead. Junmyeon's eyes wander around the room, his hand visibly shaking.

"...Is that how you see me?"

"No! My friends do," Sehun immediately replies, now turning on his side to face Junmyeon, but still not looking at him in the eye. He keeps staring at his small hands that have been inside him so many times, his arms that have scars and that have pulled him in dozens of times, his biceps that are now bare because he's only wearing a tank top. Sehun can see his black and worn out binder peeking beneath.

"Then why not?" Junmyeon asks, almost whispering.

"I already told you." Sehun comes closer, now having the courage to look at Junmyeon in the eye. The older one is staring at the wall blankly, barely even blinking. When Sehun tries to touch his chest, Junmyeon just slaps his hand away. "Please."

"If we can't be together then we should just stop this. Move on and find someone else." Hearing those words leave Junmyeon's mouth makes tears dwell in Sehun's eyes. He sits up, leaning on his arms and staring at the older one's face, examining every inch of it with his gaze. Junmyeon keeps his eyebrows furrowed, mouth in a thin line, staring at the wall...

"You don't mean that," Sehun says with his lip quivering.

"I'm so sick of being hurt by you. I love you." When saying those words, he turns to look at Sehun with his red eyes and the younger one breaks down in tears, hiding his face and sobbing.

And Junmyeon does nothing but stare. He doesn't touch, doesn't console. Just looks.

"I-I love you," Sehun starts when pushing his hair back, his whole face red. Now it's his turn to keep his head down and avoid eye contact. "B-but I can't just leave everything because of you. My friends would never accept us."

"...Then what do you want? If they won't accept me then it's either me or them. I'm so sick and tired of this pushing and pulling." Sehun jumps in his arms, hugs him tight and cries against his chest. Like a leech that never lets go, draining all happiness out of Junmyeon, the only person keeping him sane. His little light in the darkness. 

"I love you," he says again. Junmyeon presses a soft kiss on his forehead, a sigh leaving his lips.

"I love you too."

For a moment there's silence, tears and gentle caresses on Sehun's shoulder. Quiet, unspoken I love yous fill the air. Sehun looks up at Junmyeon who keeps caressing him and staring at him with half-lidded glassy eyes. The younger man lifts himself up to straddle Junmyeon's lap and sit there in silence, both of them staring at each other intently, caressing each other like they were touching for the final time.

Like his lips were the softest and sweetest remedy for his broken mind. Their fingers slide on each others bodies, mouth on mouth to bring each other back to life, back to earth, back to the present. It's slow, it's hot, it's sweet. When raising his hands, Sehun can feel the wet tears pouring on Junmyeon's cheeks and for a moment he would like to tell him that they'll be forever.

Before he even knows it, he's pushed on the bed, on his back, his whole body filled with feathery kisses, love bites here and there. Their fingers lace together, on the edge of the bed, on the just washed grey sheets. 

***

In the morning Sehun wakes up feeling like he was hungover, though he didn't take a sip of alcohol yesterday. His clothes are not on him, the sheets uncomfortably invading any crack of his body and his head aches. He looks next to himself to see Junmyeon sleeping soundly, hugging Sehun's waist, his head slightly on his chest. The scars across his chest have healed nicely over time, but his left nipple still looks a bit odd.

The phone blings. Sehun's heart jumps in his throat. He slowly reaches out his hand to take the phone in his hand and see that Kai has just sent him a message, basically demanding Sehun to see him today.

The overwhelming feeling of guilt rushes over Sehun and it feels like someone grabbed his throat and sat on his chest, making him unable to breathe. He sits up hastily, holding his throat and trying to catch a breath as the world around him starts spinning, irrational thoughts taking over his head.

Junmyeon jolts awake when Sehun curls up into a ball and starts crying. The older one caresses his shoulders, looking like he was trying to understand the situation. It takes him a while since he just woke up.

"It's okay," he finally mutters with a raspy voice. "What happened?"

"K-Kai-" Sehun says and that is all that leaves his mouth besides sobs.

"It's okay. Everything's alright," he keeps saying. Their eyes are glued on each other, telling them that everything is, indeed, alright. After about fifteen minutes Sehun finally starts calming down, drying his tears and being able to move his limbs. "What happened?"

"...Kai... just... wants to see me today..."

"Why is that a bad thing?"

"Because... we just..."

"We didn't have sex," Junmyeon reminds. Sehun looks at their naked bodies with disbelief. "We just kissed... naked."

"That's not any better," Sehun sniffles. "I feel so guilty."

"I do too. Seeing you have a hard time because of me tears me apart."

"It's not because of you. It's because of them."

"...Well..." Junmyeon sighs and gets up. "You'd better get going now. We shouldn't see each other again."

"But-" Sehun starts, his voice and hand still shaking as he sits up on the bed and reaches for Junmyeon. "Is it too late to take it back?"

Junmyeon raises an eyebrow as he turns to look at Sehun in the eye. They're so big and pleading. "Take back what?"

"What I said- about... not wanting to be with you. Like... in a relationship."

"...So... you want to...?"

"Yes!" Sehun says when sitting on the edge of the bed, taking Junmyeon's hand in his. "I'll tell them. Whatever my friends think of it, I don't care. I love you and I can't change that."

Junmyeon looks at him worriedly before placing a kiss on his lips. 

"Stop playing games with my heart," the older man says.

"I'll stop playing here. I want you to be mine forever. Fuck what they think," Sehun says and stands up, almost falling on his knees, as he lets Junmyeon wrap his arms around his waist and he grabs his face, pulling him against himself and kissing him intently.

***

Only two weeks later Sehun has finally decided that he's going to tell them. His friends are all sitting at their booth in their usual cafe, Chanyeol being a little less of a bitch now that they've been almost six months with Baekhyun. Baekhyun's just a ray of sunshine that makes Chanyeol a little less stressful to deal with.

And Kai is just being his weird yet quiet self, obsessed with his own stuff and not really paying attention to any of his friends.

"Okay, but hear this," Chanyeol starts as he raises their finger, "we will finally have gender neutral bathrooms in the university."

"Wow! Finally, I know which one to use that doesn't make people uncomfortable!" Kai exhilarates. Sehun just scratches his neck awkwardly. He's been using men's bathroom for years now, but that really isn't what's on his mind. Baekhyun notices this and squints at him.

"You look like you have tea," he says and sips his tea. "Spill it."

"How do you always know that?" Sehun wonders. Baekhyun shrugs.

"I guess I just know this stuff."

"Well... I do have something to tell you all, though." All of them lean a little closer to him now. Sehun looks down, feeling his face heat up and hands tremble so much that he needs to put down the mug of hot cocoa he was holding. "I... have a boyfriend."

"Oh! Is it  _ the guy _ ?" Baekhyun asks and leans closer.

"Sehun can tell us if he wants to tell us," Chanyeol huffs.

"No, he has to fucking tell us," Kai says and clings onto Sehun's side. The youngest one looks even more down and feels like he's going to cry.

"Yes... it is that guy..."

"Then why are you so down?" Baekhyun asks.

"Because I... don't want you to abandon me," he says and tears immediately start pouring out his eyes. Kai latches onto his side and starts consoling him immediately.

"As long as he isn't a truscum, we won't mind," Chanyeol says but Sehun starts crying harder.

"But he is!" he says, making everyone gasp. "I've loved him for so long and I've tried not to, but he's just so sweet and-"

"How could a truscum be sweet?!" Chanyeol asks, baffled. Baekhyun rubs their back.

"...He loves me... and I love him..." Sehun cries. "I don't want to lose you... and I don't want to lose him..."

"So what if he is a truscum?" Baekhyun asks, Chanyeol immediately glaring at him. "I mean, look at me, I know nothing about anything and still you bear with me."

_ "Baekhyun is the one who has to bear with Chanyeol..."  _ Kai whispers into Sehun's ear, making the latter chuckle a little. He wipes his cheeks.

"I heard you, bitch," Chanyeol gnarls. "And... they just... hate people like me. They're hypocrites and transphobic!"

"You don't have to see him," Sehun says when wiping his snot on his sleeve. "Just don't leave me."

Chanyeol wraps his arms on his chest and rolls his eyes, looking at the ceiling. "As long as you don't become a truscum too... then I guess it's fine."

Sehun smiles sadly and wipes his snot, sniffling. "I would never."

***

The air is filled with laughter as Junmyeon pushes Sehun down on the bed, kissing up his stomach to his neck, finally placing a kiss on his mouth that just cannot stop smiling. Their clothes are already scattered across the room, lube just waiting on the bed. Junmyeon bites Sehun's neck a little, smiling against his skin as he breathes him in, enjoying every moment he has with him.

He coats his fingers with lube and gently presses in Sehun's back hole while kissing him intently. Sehun moans softly in his mouth, thrusting his hips to meet Junmyeon's fingers.

"Can't even wait for me to prep you," Junmyeon smirks at how needy Sehun is, moaning and pushing towards him. Junmyeon has already got three fingers in, his prosthetic just waiting on his hips to penetrate in Sehun.

"I swear I'll cum before you even get to fuck me if you keep doing this," the younger one says and his eyes roll back at the pleasure. Now Junmyeon lines his hand so that he wouldn't even by accident touch Sehun's fully erect clit. He frowns but Junmyeon smiles victoriously.

"Better?"

"Just fuck me already," Sehun whines when Junmyeon puts in fourth finger, adding some more lube as well. He leans in to kiss Sehun before pulling off his fingers, pushing in his prosthetic penis and making Sehun let out a deep breath. His mouth is gaping and eyes closed.

In just a few minutes the bed is creaking as Junmyeon is pounding into him, hitting his g-spot so good and deliciously that it leaves Sehun whimpering and needy. His pelvis grinds on Sehun's clit and the prosthetic penis' rod rubs against Junmyeon's clit, making him grunt against Sehun's ear that he nibbles every now and then, sending shivers down the younger one's body.

Sehun grabs Junmyeon's shoulders and starts crying when he feels his orgasm slowly build up, making his thoughts hazy. He closes his eyes and whines, bites his lips and breathes quickly as Junmyeon sends him over the edge, making him cum yet again, but this time without any guilt or hiding. This time happy.

And Junmyeon thrusts in a couple more times to reach him climax, panting heavily on top of Sehun, sweat dripping from his forehead before he leans in to place a kiss on his lips.

They lace their fingers together, on the edge of the bed, on the just washed grey sheets. 


End file.
